Sun Sign
Spectrum Records, Summer 2020, VOLUME 3
Big Leo Energy
I’m sure we’ve all done many things during this pandemic that we probably thought we’d never do. I met via telehealth with a grief counselor, bought an inflatable swim buoy, shaved my head, gave blood, and listened to an entire Tangerine Dream album from start to finish. But the one thing that stands out is reading Chani Nicholas’ book on astrology: You Were Born For This: Astrology For Radical self-Acceptance. To be honest, I requested it from my local library about three months ago, and then promptly forgot about it until I was notified that it was on hold for me. I checked it out and finished it in two days. I also visited her website and “did my chart,” as they say.
The great thing about astrology is that it confirms things you already know about yourself, which can be very comforting during times of stress. When I read that Leos like myself crave attention, yearn for acceptance, want to be the center of attention, and are prone to varying degrees of exhibitionism, I’m like, ‘Holy shit, that’s me!” Even though I can be painfully shy, I subconsciously desire all these things. I always knew that Leo was my sun sign. But what I didn’t know, and just discovered, is that I also have a moon sign as well, which is Cancer. I also didn’t know what house my sun sign was born into, which happens to be the 2nd House, the one that affects one’s “assets, resources, and livelihood.” Cancer also happens to be my rising sign which according to my chart, was just coming over the horizon at the moment I drew my first breath. I like that description even thought I’m not fully aware of what it means. I’m “sitting with my chart” as Nicholas advises, and letting the wisdom slowly filter into my consciousnesses, withholding judgement. What I can say is that a rising Cancer has something to do with a “caring and emotive style.’ And that’s totally me as well. I think. I hope.
Without going into all the minute details of my chart (and frankly it’s been a lot to digest even if it is potentially one-hundred-percent bullshit), my most shocking discovery is that all this time, because my sun sign is in the 2nd house, I should have been “shining” in the area of my livelihood. This fact is hard to take because I don’t think I’ve ever made more than $40,000 a year in my almost 35 years of working. It’s touchy because men are supposed to earn money. No matter what anyone says (it’s not about the money always means it is exactly about the money), a man’s value is judged by how good of a provider he is. Yes, I’ve been able to support myself and my family (with the help of my wife who, it can be argued, has been much more successful than me and for whom I am eternally grateful) and yes, I have made a little money over the years selling my cartoons and writing and whatnot, but that’s not enough to shine like my white-hot Leo energy is supposed to make me want to do. Of course, my sun squares Mars, which means the God of War is constantly causing me difficulty and knocking me off my hustle. Maybe that’s why I’m not a millionaire. Yes, I’m blaming Mars. Why not? It’s as good a reason as any.
In any case, I’m going to try not to think about it too much and just enjoy summer while I can. Besides, astrology is just one in a wide variety of frameworks for self-understanding. I can burn brightly in other ways.
Album of Summer
I highly recommend Jessy Lanza’s album All the Time. Minimalist electro R&B that will feel nostalgic to any children of the Eighties out there. You can read the Pitchfork review or listen on Spotify. It’s bright, poppy, sugary-sweet. Like all summer music should be.